But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” 

Matthew 6:33

After a long time of meeting with the Lord in the early A.M., life shifted. My schedule became busy, and my morning meetings with the Lord became scattered throughout the day, and in the evenings when I was exhausted. He wasn’t getting my first nor my best, and I wasn’t hearing from Him to get His best. Not only had life crowded out my early morning time with Jesus, but my health was also being impacted, as I couldn’t find time to exercise.

I quickly became anxious and felt burned out. All of the things occurring in my life were good things that God brought, so why did I feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to do what He called me to do? After much angst and inner turmoil, I asked the Lord why things felt so “off.” He sweetly answered in such a gentle voice that I had left my first love. “Lord, what first love have I left?” I asked. I’m reading Your Word, I’m worshiping You, I’m serving You, and I’m even in seminary! He reminded me that my first love is to meet with Him intimately and early in the morning, before I start trying to plan my day and how I think it should go. He reminded me that if I seek first His Kingdom, everything else would be added. He reminded me that if I delight in Him, He would give me the desires of my heart. He wanted me to do what I had already known to do, but somehow unconsciously convinced myself that how I was meeting with Him daily was sufficient. So I made a decision for the Lord and for myself: to trust that if I put Him first, He would give me all I needed to complete all that He was asking me to do.

The next morning, I set my alarm to awake way too early for my body to feel sufficiently rested. I found a space in the new home God blessed me with and sat with my Bible and heart open. I asked the Holy Spirit to breathe life into His Word and make it new, fresh, and exciting. I asked Him to show me things I had never paid attention to before. God was waiting for me at a specific time and in a specific place, and had been waiting for quite some time. He enveloped me with a fresh view of His Word and highlighted things I had read many times over; however, they were new and fresh in their application. His Word is truly living and active.

A few days into my revived routine, I went to visit my in-laws at their assisted living home. I usually park in the back of the facility near their apartment, but I clearly heard the Holy Spirit guide me to park in the front and enter through the front door. As I was entering, an unfamiliar woman was approaching the entrance. We spoke and introduced ourselves, and she replied to my inquiry by explaining that she did not work for the facility but was with hospice. Seeing my reaction, she immediately explained with excitement how she loves her job and gets so many hugs because she helps people extend their lives with better quality. She offered me her card in case anyone I knew needed it, and I reluctantly took it and continued on to my in-laws.

Shortly after visiting my in-laws, I received a text from my cousin-in-law, whom I had not communicated with directly in months, with the following information: “Hi Adrienne, I wanted to reach out to let you know my dad has decided to go on hospice since we don’t have any more avenues to explore medically. …” I sat, staring at my phone and frozen. I was in disbelief! I had never in life met a hospice worker, and the Lord directed me to meet one at the precise time that my cousin-in-law needed one. My early meetings with the Lord gave me a keenness to hear His voice. He is always talking, but the busyness of my day often made me miss the instructions.

Since meeting with the Lord early in the morning, before the sun rises and before my household awakes, things like this have been happening regularly. I have also been able to set and keep a workout schedule and complete all other tasks without growing exhausted, discouraged, or anxious. I’m so excited, not at what the Lord will do, but just to be with Him in stillness and anticipation of His presence overwhelming me.

God is true to His Word, and when we are feeling disconnected, we have moved away from God; He has not moved away from us. He is always sitting at the table, waiting for us to return, waiting to overwhelm us with His presence and goodness.

Seek first the Kingdom of God, and everything else will be added.