Week 13: Yea Thou I Walk

Psalm 23:4

As I drove through Irvine, CA, where my family and I had lived for eleven years, I was overwhelmed with a mix of emotions, from grief to gratitude, as I reflected on our time there. I was finishing up a visit with friends and family, and as I drove toward the airport, I fought back tears while recalling the past. 

My husband, our two younger teenage children, and I moved to Orange County, CA, in 2010 for my husband’s career advancement. We were full of joy and eagerly anticipated a brighter future for our family. Little did we know that our move to Orange County would begin the darkest season our family would endure. As tears streamed down my face, I praised God because, through it all, He remained faithful. 

It was in Orange County that the career advancement we expected for my husband turned into a department restructuring and a significant salary cut. His position was eliminated, and his new role placed him at the top of his salary range, meaning he would no longer receive raises. This also meant that our dream of buying a home in Orange County quickly faded as housing prices rose, but our household income remained unchanged. Within a year of living there, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and died eleven months later. It was also there that our younger son started to drift from faith, and we watched as God removed one blessing after another from him. Additionally, it was in Orange County that my husband and I began to face health issues. It was in Orange County that our daughter became a single mom at eighteen and was thrust into adulthood immediately.

But as we walked through the valley of the shadow of death of so many dreams, God was with us. My husband applied for a position three times, for which he was more than qualified, but was turned down each time. After COVID, he started working from home, which gave him the flexibility to travel back and forth out of state and help care for his mom after her massive stroke. God’s answer of “No” to the positions he applied for was a blessing; if he had gotten any of them, he would not have been able to help with his mom’s care. My mom’s diagnosis of lung cancer brought her into a deeper relationship with the Lord. Though I miss her dearly, I rejoice that God granted her the grace to raise her children, to know her grandchildren, and to enter the Kingdom of God. Although we were caught in a “rent trap” in Orange County for eleven years, we moved to Texas and lived with my brother and sister-in-law to help care for my parents-in-law. Living with them also allowed us to recover financially. God has since blessed us with the ability to purchase a home again. Our youngest son has surrendered to the Lord and is now living life with his new bride. We received our son back and gained a new daughter-in-law. My husband and I were able to seek great care to get our health issues under control. Our daughter chose life over abortion and gave birth to our incredible granddaughter, who has blessed us beyond measure. We can’t imagine life without her, and my daughter has now surrendered her life to the Lord, becoming an incredible mother and a woman of God. 

During the darkest times in those years in Orange County, even when I didn’t always feel God’s presence, He was with me and my family. His goodness and mercy followed us all the days of our lives in Orange County and will continue to follow us (Psalms 23:6). He promises never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). He assures us that, even though not all things are good, He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). He promises to be our good, good Father. 

Friend, no matter what you’re going through or if you feel God’s presence, remember that He is with you and loves you.